Stress of holidays, COVID surge will affect people differently

Nov. 25--As if 2020 hasn't been challenging enough, many health professionals and elected officials are telling families to stay apart as the holiday season begins this week.

The recent surge in COVID-19 cases across the nation has led many to alter plans, creating another layer of frustration, disappointment and loneliness in a year that has been filled with all of those things.

This week, state leaders highlighted outlets for those struggling. People, Dr. Anthony Ragusea, a board-certified clinical psychologist for Evangelical Community Hospital said, will take stock of everything in a very individual way over the next month or so.

"It's going to be different for different people," he said. "Some people are actually excited about the holidays, some are doing OK. But a lot of people were already under a lot of stress, even before the current spike in cases, for COVID and non-COVID reasons."

Focusing on mental health and keeping an eye out for each other is important, experts say.

"This year has challenged all of us in ways that we could not have anticipated, and whether you normally deal with feelings of depression or anxiety or you are experiencing these for the first time, your feelings are valid," said Department of Human Services (DHS) Secretary Teresa Miller. "The holiday season and our family traditions will look different this year because it's what we must do to keep each other safe, but there can be grief that comes from that. No matter what you are feeling this year, please know that you do not have to endure it alone. Talk to your loved ones, talk to your support network, and don't be afraid to make a call to resources that exist to help."

Some people are opting to stay home for Thanksgiving, following the advice of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and elected officials. Some say they will sacrifice Thanksgiving to spend Christmas with their family a month from now.

"Nice to have hope but Christmas might not be any better," Ragusea warned.

According to the state Department of Health, the risk of COVID-19 is more acute among older Pennsylvanians, so residents must be "diligent about protecting our older loved ones from potential exposure to the virus. This distance undoubtedly creates difficulties, but regular communication can help families stay connected while they are not able to be together in person."

Ragusea said finding a way to connect with family and friends that can't visit in person this week is important. Just as vital is making sure everyone is part of all of the conversations.

"Video-conferencing, even while you are eating, is a smart idea," he said. "We are lucky to have that opportunity. But keep it going for a while. Don't just pass it around the table for five seconds at a time. Have it for a long time, have everyone participate in the conversation. It's easy to not feel part of the joke."

"You want to create a sense of connectedness, that everyone is still very present," Evangelical spokeswoman Deanna Hollenbach said. "Make sure everyone feels very present."

Ragusea also said if someone you know decides to attend a family gathering in person this holiday, don't judge them too harshly. They may just be trying to fill a very human need.

While Ragusea acknowledged that tensions are running high and many have very strong feelings about safety precautions -- both for and against -- and how to follow them, a lot of people feel levels of anger or resentment and "refuse to listen to any words of advice."

For those people, Ragusea said, show a bit of empathy.

"People are getting very rigid dictating how other people should act and feel," he said. "Human beings need interaction with each other. Some people may be willing to take risks that you wouldn't support because they have a real need. That is valid and it's OK."

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